tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567035684631335912011-08-01T21:32:14.298-04:00a twin pregnancy after ivf blogCymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.comBlogger761100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-39901574330193752232010-06-27T12:09:00.004-04:002010-06-27T12:37:12.005-04:00

Ahhh, a moment to my very self! Weee! What to say? The babes are amazing and lovely little sleep deprivation specialists. We considered turning them in to the feds because they really belong on the terrorist watch list with these tactics. They are that good at it. That's the first time I've used italics!A few breakdowns. Occasional swearing. Lots of breastmilk and cuteness. Their poo doesn't

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-7684130322803417502010-06-14T10:35:00.003-04:002010-06-14T10:39:58.187-04:00

We've been home for one short week. More on that later. I want to share our birth story, and I have to type fast because a baby will surely wake soon. On the night before our scheduled c-section, we called the unit as instructed to obtain our official arrival time. We were told to arrive at 8 am. I said, "arrive at 8 am?" , "yes, arrive at 8 am" was the reply. "Arrive at 8 am?" I said again.

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-44251634172636780762010-06-10T18:16:00.004-04:002010-06-10T18:26:23.312-04:00

This will be brief...I will write a longer blog in the next few days...but Big Daddy G actually wrote one on Old Wire Road, so if you'd like, check it out via the link at right. One quick tidbit: we were late to our birth day appointment...hmmm...Giles, zen master, weighing in at 7 lbs on the noseMoss, rocket man, weighing in at 7 lbs 15 ouncesImpossible Love

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-52250380518143594682010-06-06T13:10:00.002-04:002010-06-06T13:12:14.131-04:00

A long post. A 2-for, even. The day before our lives change forever… Blueberry pancakes and bacon and coffee! Installing carseats! (An expletive inducing experience like you read about. I mean, who knew that all of those carseat installation stories were true!! Tools like an industrial winch and a PhD would have been helpful and Gregg required a couple of bandaids afterward, but it got done.)

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-53912425993529670362010-06-03T17:34:00.001-04:002010-06-03T17:35:36.720-04:00

38 weeks! Full term for singletons! Neat-o! The stats say 50% of twin pregnancies get to term but I thought for sure we'd be in the pre-term category. Go team! I thought I'd list the "damage" for posterity. I've gained about 80# I've gained a distinct and slightly disturbing afternoon TV habit, but I like it. Super puffy hands and feet with the occasional cankle Really achey hands, wrists

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-1749901247109434422010-06-01T19:54:00.002-04:002010-06-01T20:29:15.193-04:00

Woah! My mood is swinging all over the place. Normally, I'm super stable. Creepily stable. For the past few days though I've been either on the dark side or on the edge of it. I'm trying to remain open to the mood, knowing that if I try to shove it down, it will not pass. I am trying to pinpoint its origins though and this is what I've come up with so far: 1) I think I've been at home by

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-66898767939236889162010-05-30T15:36:00.005-04:002010-05-30T18:38:36.292-04:00

Just a quickie. Yeah, no, not really. I would really recommend reading all three parts of Murgdan's birth story over at Conceive This! (link at right). It is remarkable. I'm writing this in a semi-rage. Her story made me want to post about some things I've been avoiding writing about. It's the way that I feel that I've been treated as a patient at my clinic. Why have I been hesitant to

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-46366547185589603252010-05-27T12:48:00.002-04:002010-05-27T12:53:29.899-04:00

My thighs don't move when I walk. I'm walking from the knees down.I'm using a wooden spoon to scratch my itchy calves and feet because I break out into a sweat with the effort of trying to reach them. Want to come over for dinner?My cervix isn't open, probably never was. My blood pressure is 110/60. I'm comfortable. The babies are comfy too. I'm content.

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-79018711095649233812010-05-23T10:30:00.008-04:002010-05-23T11:59:17.185-04:00

I have come to acceptance. The boys will just remain living in my belly for eternity. It's too bad really because hamburgers and rainbows are both really good things that I think they should experience. People who just live inside their mama's bellies, kicking and hiccuping, don't get to experience these things. They just get heartbeats, gas bubbles, muffled Beck and kicks in the rear from

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-77385323579629531502010-05-19T16:54:00.004-04:002010-05-19T18:10:56.069-04:00

We made it to 36 weeks. Holy schmoly. Earlier this week, I hit a new level of discomfort, but that has suddenly passed. I couldn't breathe, eat, go to the bathroom or sleep on either side. It was teary jaw clenching discomfort. After about 2 days and nights of this, I was very cranky. I considered renting a lay-z-boy. I was all about desperation and irritability. I was irrational. I

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-10504670192609903092010-05-14T07:54:00.002-04:002010-05-14T08:37:47.395-04:00

The other night, my insomnia returned. I was sitting up in bed 2 nights ago when the babies tried to turn over. They tried really hard, but I don't think they were successful. I think lower baby is now transverse and low in my pelvis because I can feel limbs thumping directly onto my hips and groin ligaments. He feels really snug in there. We won't see them until next Tuesday.But that's not

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-82290238875306268382010-05-06T10:22:00.003-04:002010-05-06T10:54:59.978-04:00

Meh. Grrrr. Ooomph. Gruuunt. That's me turning over in bed. Gregg actually saw me do it for the first time in a while and got this look on his face like he just couldn't believe it. "Can you do this?", he said sweetly as in "can you make it? can you go on?". Can I do this? I asked myself. I'm doing it. It's being done. I just want to make it 2 more weeks. They can stay in longer as desired,

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-958731489617408852010-05-02T13:13:00.002-04:002010-05-02T13:15:52.316-04:00

Well, I have suddenly become pretty uncomfortable. That's an understatement, but I really hate to complain and whine. I'm still not miserable, I keep telling myself…still not miserable, still not miserable, still not miserable. On Saturday I woke up unable to walk well. It just wouldn't happen. I was really, really slow and pretty weak. It just seemed as though my legs and hips had had enough

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-27505897148486904082010-04-24T03:24:00.003-04:002010-04-24T04:25:32.143-04:00

First of all, it's 3:30 in the morning. I really though I would sleep well tonight because we actually managed a trip to the beach today, a field trip to nature that left me too energized.We went to the doctor yesterday. The babies are estimated to be 4#15 ounces and 4#10 ounces. This is over 9 pounds of baby. The cervix is high thick and tightly shut, a reason to hope that nothing exciting

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-88617922481541008752010-04-15T09:53:00.002-04:002010-04-15T10:31:39.684-04:00

I decided to stop working this week. I thought I could make it to May 1st, but no. The decision came in a sudden flash of insight after seeing a patient's mom who I thought was about 20 weeks pregnant but revealed that she was actually due in 10 days and "miserable". I thought, "self, what the hell are you doing here? Home with you!" as I realized I am about 3 times her size. I'm having a

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-49828939926243898032010-04-10T17:27:00.007-04:002010-04-10T18:29:11.336-04:00

Oh the fog. When the last hour of my last full day of work arrived, I couldn't do it. I had to go upstairs and take a nap. Suddenly, I'm very, very tired. Blindingly tired. I thought it was some esoteric phase of late pregnancy, like a trance, as in "the maternal trance". Mais non. It is just fatigue. The half days are great, but I'm not sure I can stay upright with my eyes open and my

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-87260782168568617062010-04-02T05:45:00.005-04:002010-04-02T06:34:03.611-04:00

I've been to Paris. Madrid. Vancouver. Boise. This week though, I had an experience that will forever remain a highlight of my existence...I got to drive the motorized cart thingy at Target. I wondered for a while why everyone was smiling at me on my trip through, but then I realized I had a big grin on my face the entire time. I took out a few end-of-the-aisle products, knocked into a few

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-41440664844173009552010-03-20T15:21:00.003-04:002010-03-20T16:04:09.228-04:00

Ah the harness(es). Yes. I now have 2 belly harnesses. The first one served me well from 17 weeks until now, but it just couldn't hold the 27 week twin belly on its own any longer. The first contraption (made by Loving Comfort) did a really good job of redistributing the weight of the belly from my abdomen to my stronger lower back. I don't think I could have stayed on my feet as long as I

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-6841854952448074692010-03-09T15:10:00.002-05:002010-03-09T15:56:18.710-05:00

"Wow! You're expecting? I didn't know you were expecting! Do you know what your having? Twins boys??!! God bless you, that's gonna be double the trouble!" I have to participate in the above conversation approximately 47 times every day. This is not an exaggeration. This is troof. I tried so hard not to get bitchy about this, because I am very happy to be in this position. However, I have to

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-33772340119390925992010-02-26T09:53:00.004-05:002010-02-26T10:47:08.952-05:00

A plague has visited our happy home. Gastroenteritis. The pukes and the poops. I and the babies survived it, but Big Daddy G just got started. I have to stay home to rest for a few days longer than I would if I were not pregnant, but I'm okay. I never even had a fever and never lost weight. We were supposed to have a fun weekend with company, but we had to modify that plan because this is

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-20832354982502639082010-02-21T11:32:00.002-05:002010-02-21T12:29:39.253-05:00

A beautiful thing happened last week. Well, mostly super nice and sort of beautiful. Let me start from the beginning...Our friends were going to move from California to within hours of us and almost made it when...a job fell through. We were a bit down about it, but feel happy to still have a free place to stay in San Francisco when next we go. The bonus about them moving nearby was that they

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-60745327914098315192010-02-13T11:23:00.003-05:002010-02-13T12:06:34.030-05:00

Nursery decoration excitement! The one and only piece of advice the OB gave me was that I really needed to get my physically intensive baby shopping done prior to 24 or 25 weeks. He said, "you are going to slow waaay down, and you won't be able to help it". We took this advice seriously. So, last weekend, we went to IKEA! YAY! Crib? Check! Rocker? Check! Shelf/Changing area? Check! Funky kid

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-13426524116590752142010-01-31T04:34:00.002-05:002010-01-31T04:57:52.710-05:00

Theoretically, this is the half way mark of a singleton pregnancy...but really, we probably passed the real halfway point about 2 weeks ago. Less time to go than we've come. There is a pretty predictable schedule of boxing matches going on in my belly. 3-5 times a day: pow-pow-pow. pippity-pow-pow. tippity tap. tap tap. This is great unless Baby A is kicking me in the rectum. I had no idea

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-48816252692744586782010-01-19T14:27:00.004-05:002010-01-19T15:32:38.599-05:00

Why am I sitting in an unlit parked city bus all by myself eating an ice cream sunday (with cookies and cream ice cream, peanut butter sauce, whipped cream and extra oreos on top; a combo I've never even heard of but really want to try) outside of an acting camp featuring one of the actors from Waiting for Guffman? Why do I feel suddenly busted when the driver gets on the bus, turns on the

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-89147698254039788152010-01-12T19:21:00.003-05:002010-01-12T20:16:30.089-05:00

The gender ratio in my household is decidedly skewed. There's the husband, our artist in residence friend who is also male, 2 male cats, 1 male dog, me and our girl dog. Me and girl dog are out numbered unless you add the 6 chickens in the yard, in which case, the boys are outnumbered. If you only count the warm and fuzzy house animals (dogs, cats, humans), it's just me and girl dog vs. 5

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-34645955460958167452010-01-09T01:48:00.006-05:002010-01-09T18:28:52.364-05:00

Everyone I know already knows about our pregnancy. This week though, a remarkable number of strangers and patients have noticed the belly. The people I know say I'm big, the strangers say I'm small. It's so interesting to interact with the world as a pregnant person. I have not had any strangers grope the belly yet, but I hear this is bound to happen. I have not really been sure of how I

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-20105218118970124402009-12-31T19:28:00.004-05:002009-12-31T20:18:05.018-05:00

The stand out thing about my 2009 was that I missed it. It passed in one, long, blurry moment. I barely noticed the seasons. Every waking moment was about IVF. I'm sure many know what I mean. I realized today that I didn't really post the final results of our nuchal translucency scan which I received about 2 weeks ago. They are disturbing in restrospect not because of my results, which are

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-50236641407257424352009-12-25T23:12:00.002-05:002009-12-26T00:30:51.859-05:00

Luckily, we've had an uneventful week. Christmas was sort of a non-event for us because I'm on call for the day and Gregg is on call for the weekend. I've been doing a lot of laying around taking phone calls. At least one family that I saw yesterday spent the night in the emergency room with their two year old who had stuffed a french fry so far up her nose that I couldn't safely remove it.

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-22508078934335049122009-12-18T08:05:00.005-05:002009-12-18T09:39:42.015-05:00

Well, just when we thought, "oh wow, this pregnancy is going great!", we hit some bumps in the road.  Before I continue, I want to say that all is well with me and the babes and I didn't want to share our experience this week until I knew that everyone was okay.  Last weekend I woke up with the familiar feeling of fluid leaking from my nether regions.  I turned on the light to find a moderate

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-51549624695800123812009-12-10T19:00:00.002-05:002009-12-10T19:29:41.029-05:00

While we're not exactly in the second trimester, we can see it from the doorstep, so to speak.  We're staring down it's barrel? It's right around the corner? It's coming around the mountain? Whatever! I'm almost there! I saw my midwife who was very pleasant.  She is the mother of twin girls, now aged 22.  She delivered them vaginally.  She said that I have a higher chance of vaginal delivery

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-32715013271413941552009-12-03T02:03:00.003-05:002009-12-03T02:54:35.896-05:00

We had our super fun nuchal translucency scan on Tuesday.  They don't give us our final results (our actual risk for major defects) for a couple of weeks but the tech and our OB, Dr. R, said that everything looked "nice and average".  Thank you very much, I will take average.  Meeting Dr. R was actually a surprise.  We didn't know he would be there.  It turns out, he is like the head of some

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-64710940540210024632009-11-27T01:45:00.003-05:002009-11-27T02:33:59.379-05:00

Thanksgiving.  I am up at 1 am writing this because my stomach is still too full.  I am thankful for this in spite of the discomfort because I know many people are going hungry.  Having worked on farms, I know how hard it is to produce food for humanity and I am astounded at the abundance on our table today.  After saying my silent prayers for farm laborers, I completely stuffed my face. One

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-22317769946723946412009-11-19T19:32:00.002-05:002009-11-19T20:00:46.275-05:00

I went for my first official OB visit today, which was with a nurse.  It involved a bunch of boring paperwork and a pee test and a blood draw.  I tried to whine my way into a quickie doppler evaluation, but it didn't work.  After posting this, I'm going to buy a doppler.  There were a few really awkward moments during my appointment.  The IVF part of the clinic is highly coordinated and I felt

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-6138489548847028992009-11-14T15:09:00.002-05:002009-11-14T15:31:00.777-05:00

Our household has been incommunicado for 2 weeks.  I could ramble on and on about why, but I won't.  Okay, just a little... Last year we dropped our landline.  A successful, effective, money saving endeavor overall.  We were happy with our completely wireless existence until...Ver.izon took over All.tel and then got into a local fight with Spr.int about who got to use who's towers and we were

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-64615237351028857612009-11-12T16:53:00.003-05:002009-11-12T17:04:46.014-05:00

Cymande is home (post-call) and I am at work. I've been given the task of writing a brief hello and to apologize for her lack of posting. We are without internet access at the moment due to an evil verizon plan to destroy alltel, but that is a story for a different time and place. Cymande and I would like to report that the twins are demanding spaghetti at all hours of the night and I was

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-5379209750278080412009-10-29T17:01:00.004-04:002009-10-29T17:27:26.426-04:00

We had our first ultrasound today at long last.  The verdict? Twins!  We're expecting twins.  They are well placed and have strong heartbeats.  We're really excited.  I keep singing "2 little monkeys jumping on the bed".  I also imagine them in there with little walkie-talkies having conversations like this:Twin A: "Baby Bird, Baby Bird, come in Baby Bird, do you read me?"Twin B: "I read you loud

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-6376115345471264572009-10-21T10:52:00.004-04:002009-10-21T11:31:46.354-04:00

"What were you doing in the kitchen at 3:00 this morning?" you might inquire if you were visiting me.  "Why, I was making hard boiled eggs and eating them with caperberries, because we're totally out of pickles",  I would reply.  "Oh, of course!", you would return. The motion sickness has reached a new level this week.  I have to carefully consider which car I choose to ride in, whether I'm the

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-31996574282517209942009-10-15T15:24:00.003-04:002009-10-15T15:59:43.114-04:00

I'm not sure how to transition from "active IVF cycle blogger" to "pregnant after IVF blogger".  I know this is something that all infertile bloggers go through, so I know that I am normal.  I sort of feel paralyzed right now because I know that the numbers say that I'm pregnant, but I'm not feeling it that much and I often return to a state of disbelief.  I read that all pregnant women feel this

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-53093399813204699042009-10-10T10:30:00.002-04:002009-10-10T10:45:18.874-04:00

Okay.  I get it.  I'm pregnant.  I actually got pretty excited today, for real.  My second beta this morning was 830.The beta more than doubled and is well over a normal singleton value.  SuperSue said not to be concerned about twins yet because she has seen some ladies have values this high with singletons.  However, the Great Goog says twins.  Everyone with twins says twins.  I'm thinking maybe

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-16409891158978273562009-10-08T18:37:00.003-04:002009-10-08T18:52:24.207-04:00

We recently paid some dudes at the University of Florida like 20g to make some embryos.  Then, we allowed one guy to put two of them into my uterus.  We did this with the expressed intention of becoming pregnant.  We did this on purpose.  I went to a bunch of acupuncture sessions and ate a bunch of supplements to actually increase the chances of becoming pregnant.  We are today, for some reason,

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-15119681618697246852009-10-07T19:46:00.005-04:002009-10-07T20:20:54.761-04:00

A typical child of the 1980's, I spent some Christmases at my mom's house and some at my dad's. The tradition at my dad's house was that everyone got to open 1 present on Christmas eve. Christmas eve, by the way, was also the main extended family event and lots of people were present, but not many children. Upon one Christmas eve, I must have been 8 or 9 because my younger sister wasn't born

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-50908071975594305232009-10-06T20:01:00.004-04:002009-10-07T06:33:05.096-04:00

It's official. Gregg is more obsessed than I am about symptoms. He called me twice at work (he was in the other office today) to ask me about them. He also has been holding forth google-style about stats and symptoms and facts in a way only infertile women can. He asked me about the boobies. I told him about the boobies. He asked me if I had any cramping. "Why yes dear, as a matter of fact

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-37711342888155708012009-10-05T19:37:00.002-04:002009-10-05T20:02:51.053-04:00

I returned to my virus infested, snot filled work today. It wasn't so bad. The week off has made me a distinctly nicer provider of healthcare. What is really nice about my job though is the lab coat I get to wear. I like it because I can check the boobs pretty inconspicuously. I have to say...they're a little different. I'm also still insanely hungry. I ate 2 lunches today. I invoked the

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-50285647576360400262009-10-04T11:59:00.002-04:002009-10-04T12:21:06.399-04:00

Am I? Am I not? Am I? Am I not? I am. No I'm not. Maybe. Never. Am I? Am I not? What are we going to name them? They don't exist! What are they going to look like? They're not coming! Will it be 2? Will it be 1? What if it's 3 or 4? Am I? Am I not? PEE ON A STICK! DON"T PEE ON A STICK! GO FOR A WALK! DON'T MOVE! Do not laugh too hard. Don't eat so much garlic! Don't sniff that flower! Don't!

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-14774387307232053632009-10-03T08:08:00.006-04:002009-10-03T08:46:05.729-04:00

Go go gadget defense mechanism. Pessimism. Sobbing. Planning for the next cycle. Mind overcome by insane, irrational heartache. Google says, no symptoms necessary for a positive, Blahblahblah. Gregg smartly planned a day of fun for us today. I don't know what it includes, but he is so good, I might forget for a moment...I have to do the sobbing thing this weekend because I go back to work

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-19723598710980702992009-10-02T06:37:00.002-04:002009-10-02T06:48:52.343-04:00

Oh the obsession. It's in full swing. It's on. It's raging. I woke up at 5:30 am, thristy and hungry for yogurt and dried plums. Why? I am a mere mortal and cannot answer such deep questions. Since I've got nothing better to do at 5:30 am...well...there's the internet. I'm a bit frustrated because I cannot seem to respond to your comments. I apologize for that. I would like the "what is

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-62670129255097805432009-10-01T08:11:00.004-04:002009-10-01T08:42:08.105-04:00

I woke up this morning knowing that the trigger shot has left my body entirely.  I only had to take half of the amount that is usually given because my estrogen was so high, but it still took 9 days to leave my system.  I know it's gone because I slept all night without getting up to pee and my boobies, what little I have, are back to normal.  They don't hurt at all.  I figure that at least I

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-54017538055063157492009-09-30T14:02:00.004-04:002009-09-30T14:43:15.400-04:00

I am living proof that one can survive, and even thrive, without internet access for 3 days.  Holy moly... I have not been able to Google queries such as:1dp3dt symptoms2dp3dt symptoms3dp3dt symptomswhen to pee on a stickhow often is it considered sane to pee on a stickprogesterone in oil side effectswhen should i feel symptomswhat is a "good" number of blasts to have left to freeze?early

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-37248471100944223062009-09-28T09:21:00.002-04:002009-09-28T09:38:34.356-04:00

Hello, this is Gregg posting because Cymande is home without internet access due to technical difficulties. This post will be mostly free of IVF jargon because I don't really understand it, but let me start with some. We are PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise.) Sunday, we arrived at 9 AM for the 3 day transfer. The Russian embryologist presented us with a photo of two grade A embryos that

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-8803870352584321832009-09-26T14:56:00.007-04:002009-09-26T15:35:18.203-04:00

Our 16 are still developing. We're still going for a 3 day transfer of 2 embies tomorrow morning if everything continues well. This is the Valium part I've been so looking forward to! Cool! I have to take it 1 hour prior to the procedure. I'm also on an antibiotic and prednisone which have been harder on my system than the suppression/stimulation meds. My belly is a wreck and I'm back to

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-40717292553562560252009-09-25T11:42:00.002-04:002009-09-25T12:04:33.728-04:00

We are the proud parents of 16 embryos. I love them dearly already. The fate of the other 8 eggs is really interesting...4 eggs were immature, 3 eggs allowed the sperm in, but didn't really want to get together (they only had 1 polar body) , and 1 egg allowed 2 sperm in (it had 3 polar bodies). I am in total awe. I'm so excited. I really hope they make it. SuperSueIVFNurseSupreme told me to

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-86888556612813660732009-09-24T14:15:00.003-04:002009-09-24T14:37:28.259-04:00

I'll be brief because I'm in a post Demerol "amIasleeporamIawake?" state of being. I gave 24 good looking eggs. I think the embryologists may have by now but sperm and egg together. The future children may exist. We won't know until tomorrow how many embryos we'll have. I'm watching the Darjeeling Ltd., my favorite half conscious on the couch movie. I'm not uncomfortable. I was sort of

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-2471991018034055352009-09-23T13:10:00.007-04:002009-09-23T18:34:21.338-04:00

Tomorrow is egg retrieval day! I am super calm. My facebook status even says so. I listened to my IVF hypnosis cd this morning. I'm puttering around with my gigantic ovaries. I'm going to take a nap. I'm going to watch Oprah. I never see daytime television because I'm always at work, so this is exciting. I don't have to give myself any injections today. I just get to chill...that and

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-44954747631484607002009-09-21T18:37:00.004-04:002009-09-21T19:09:48.425-04:00

Tonight, I take my final doses of Folistim, Lupron, Ovidrel and dexamethasone. I went in for my appointment this morning and Dr. B gave me a 99.99% chance of triggering ovulation tomorrow! YAY!!! This means egg retrieval on Thursday morning. I calculate that my ovaries are about the size of fists right now. I have lots of follicles and my estrogen is in the high 3000 range. I have to walk

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-37579038164892402082009-09-19T19:28:00.003-04:002009-09-19T19:57:23.059-04:00

Today the news is good on all fronts...the mood has stabilized, for one, and for this we can all be glad.  We went for the estrogen and follicle check this morning, but saw a different doc than usual because it's the weekend and she was the one on call.  My estrogen is now 1912 blahblahs per blahblah on day 7 of Follistim and is therefore nearly doubling daily.  Dr. R  found 32 follicles but

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-82182512117646317902009-09-17T19:52:00.003-04:002009-09-17T20:32:36.013-04:00

Yesterday, I read the article suggested by cousin Kari that is in the comments section and laughed until I cried.  I especially laughed when the author mentions crying while listening to James Taylor, which I just experienced not 1 week ago.  So this morning, on the way to my ultrasound/blood work appointment,  I did not choose James Taylor on the iPod.  Nope. I chose something that would, on a

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-70204003148129483892009-09-16T10:01:00.004-04:002009-09-16T10:29:40.604-04:00

I'm grouchy.  I can totally intellectualize this crankiness though. It's because my estrogen is rising and it's bringing out the feisty female voodoo energy. I decided to have half days at work this week because I didn't think I could keep my cool for 10 hours straight. I'm very happy that I made this decision. My estrogen level is now 126, which is good. I cruised the web to see other

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-24316418549405658862009-09-12T17:09:00.002-04:002009-09-12T17:34:28.192-04:00

Alright! I made it through suppression without any cysts or surprises.  Dr. B and SuperSue IVF nurse supreme say, "GO!".  So this evening, instead of 1 shot and 2 pills, I will be giving myself 3 shots and 2 pills.  The Lupron will continue at a lower dose so that my ovaries don't get too excited about the microdose Ovidrel and Follistim, which will mimic the LH surge and FSH and stuff...making

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-55522220066973956382009-09-06T11:15:00.004-04:002009-09-06T11:51:09.045-04:00

I'm giving my own shots now, YAY ME! It's not so bad. It still kind of stings and I still get a little itchy after, but it's not so bad. I figured out that if I actually push the needle in slowly (EEEEEEK! Sorry!) it doesn't hurt as much. I don't think Gregg minds not giving the shot. He just watches in mock-horror. I think I had a side effect today...but I'm not sure if it really qualifies...

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-50938904902658803062009-09-02T19:11:00.007-04:002009-09-02T19:32:58.551-04:00

I'll take a cocktail of aspirin and dexamethasone followed by a sub-cutaneous injection of Lupron... and the gentleman will have one doxycycline... thank you. Artificial menopause coming right up! Very good.  I decided that I definitely can not give myself the injection.  I though I could...but no.  The hand will not allow it, the elbow does not move, I trembled.  Besides, Gregg shooting me up is

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-18969249204140417742009-08-26T18:30:00.008-04:002009-08-26T18:59:05.734-04:00

Well, il est arrive.  I'm happy to report that the big box o' meds arrived without incident and no one screwed anything up too much, not even me.  My name is misspelled on the Rx...and not even my oft-missspelled first name.  {Is anyone's last name "Baxtra"?}  Anyway, I'm also happy report that the meds cost 1/2 of what I was originally quoted by the clinic.  This is kind of twisted because no

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-3493719250933982302009-08-22T17:25:00.005-04:002009-08-22T20:40:43.516-04:00

Here we are. Just sitting around waiting for IVF.  I said in my last post that I am feeling a little like this isn't really happening.   Yet today, after counting the actual days until we begin suppression (Lupron shots every day to shut down  my ovaries entirely so that Dr. B can have total control blahblahblah) I have a little flutter of...anticipation. Finally, this seems to be happening. In

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-12423886681417098222009-08-16T12:55:00.003-04:002009-08-16T13:03:21.820-04:00

Well. I thought this might happen and it did. Gratitude. I am actually very grateful that our cycle got delayed. I had way too much going on this month to also go through IVF. Let me see...lactation exam, cash for clunkers, family reunion, new glasses, new doctor at work, gardening. All big deals for me. And I am tired. Between call and stuff, this is my first free weekend in like 2

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-47623965384500622312009-07-19T19:00:00.003-04:002009-07-19T19:07:09.005-04:00

I have not posted anything lately because I was a bit despondent about a setback in our carefully laid plan to go ahead with our IVF cycle. I have written a few entries, but just couldn't get it together to put them up.The suppression phase of our cycle was due to start next Monday, incidentally the same day I'm sitting for the apparently difficult to pass Lactation Consultant exam.Unfortunately,

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-20621743625855219442009-06-25T18:00:00.005-04:002009-06-25T18:06:15.169-04:00

I've been told the male perspective on infertility is under-documented and elusive. I will likely only muddy the already murky waters, but I can assure you that I am both a male and that I have a perspective on infertility. That perspecitive can be summarized as follows: 1. It sucks. It sucks entirely and with every resonating cell of your body. It pervades work, family, leisure, sleep, eating

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-60259517523182609042009-06-04T17:46:00.006-04:002009-06-04T21:16:19.572-04:00

Gregg and I accomplished several things today at the repro. endo’s. First, we went to our mandatory 1 hour therapy session with P. P was very nice. The session started well. She asked us about our respective familys of origin, about work and stress levels and flexibility. She told us what other couples say about the IVF experience. She talked us through the whys and hows of the cycle and

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-86819813324317649932009-05-30T12:04:00.005-04:002009-05-31T09:34:19.004-04:00

This is it. This month is my(our) final chance to fall pregnant without assistance. At the end of this cycle, I will be starting on birth control in preparation for IVF in August. It represents the end of over three years of living my life in an endless stream of 2 week segments. No more, “4 days until ovulation....” or “8 days post ovulation...”. No more tears when my period starts. It’s

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-9100805791206359812009-05-06T18:12:00.003-04:002009-05-06T18:37:11.810-04:00

well, something really cool happened to my new lil’ blog today! a moment that may seem underwhelming to the non-infertility obsessed but to me is, well really cool. “group sex” is now listed in the Stirrup Queen's Completely Anal List of Blogs That Proves That She Really Missed Her Calling as a Personal Organizer at stirrup-queens.blogspot.com.  this means i got peeps. and that my experience

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-65724281145782640062009-04-28T00:04:00.007-04:002009-04-28T18:36:48.762-04:00

i have discovered a gazillion great blogs that i read pretty obsessively nearly every day in an attempt to normalize my experience and i finally figured out how to list a few in the right margin.  i have to be honest though: the real reason i finally listed them is that something that i was just writing about happened to one of the couples whose journey i've been following... their twins turned

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-18846956698099814882009-04-23T20:46:00.004-04:002009-04-24T19:29:52.353-04:00

ah so.  we’ve decided to prepare ourselves for ivf, or the stress inherent therein, by having acupuncture done to us.  according to chinese medicine, we should do this for several months prior to conception attempts to help our bodies achieve homeostasis.  today we each had our first session with Dr. D.  neither of us has ever tried acupuncture before today, so we were each curious about how

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-73437550406918908662009-04-18T19:51:00.004-04:002009-04-18T20:13:39.295-04:00

an entry within which we reveal THE PLAN... but first... i’ve taken on a student at work, i’ll call her K.  i just met K last week and i like her a lot.  we have a lot in common it turns out.  turns out, she’s a fellow infertile person.  3 years ago, she went through IVF and had twin boys on her first try.  being the slightly mystical person that i am, i cannot really stop myself from feeling

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-55891947356315778592009-04-06T19:35:00.004-04:002009-04-06T19:43:40.249-04:00

okay, i feel better.  i’m now at the point where ivf is just another medical procedure in a medium sized list of procedures.  i’m annoyed but semi-hopeful. i’ve always identified with the goddess persephone for some reason.  but i think that infertility might be more a demeter journey.  demeter is persephone’s mother.  when persephone is lost, demeter searches tirelessly for her.  her resources

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-76656636580010737642009-03-26T20:15:00.005-04:002009-03-26T20:36:46.609-04:00

it’s hard to understate how emotional this process has been for me in particular.  gregg seems to be taking this ivf stuff in stride, very practical, no tears.  the way he sees it, we’re fertile, there is this one simple mechanical problem that can be circumvented, and that’s that.   the way i see it varies.  currently, i’m feeling sort of dark and conflicted.  i’m wondering if this situation has

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-54384856065079993862009-03-19T14:01:00.004-04:002009-03-19T14:24:48.659-04:00

here are all of the tests i've experienced since last july:too many blood tests to list, but all normal.2 saline instilled sonograms, normal. a hysterosalpingogram, f'n painful, because my one open tube was too small.  i won't say more than that. exploratory laproscopy,  after which i apparently said to the anesthesiologist, "dude, you were meant to be an anesthesiologist because you're so mellow

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-75337970140714403412009-03-19T13:37:00.005-04:002009-03-19T13:55:39.331-04:00

we have had 2 docs and many nurses helping us out so far.  dr. A was, and i guess still is my gynie. nice guy, but we had to move on to dr. B, the reproductive endocrinologist (in web lingo: RE).  their surnames really do begin with the letters "a" and "b", by the way.  dr. B is from Turkey and is very funny, just as i would expect from a person from a country named Turkey.  he told us at our

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-756703568463133591.post-52275382235028630422009-03-13T20:28:00.006-04:002009-03-13T20:59:53.495-04:00

why did the reproductive endocrinologist cross the road?because there was an affluent, infertile woman in her early 30’s on the other side.well, i thought it would be easy to get knocked up. i really did. i ovulated monthly (and still do), i was physically fit. mentally stable. high emotional iq. pretty good at several things. interior design. baking. reading. papercraft. knitting. gardening.

Cymandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10747586625292454852noreply@blogger.com0