20 weeks

Theoretically, this is the half way mark of a singleton pregnancy...but really, we probably passed the real halfway point about 2 weeks ago. Less time to go than we've come.

There is a pretty predictable schedule of boxing matches going on in my belly. 3-5 times a day: pow-pow-pow. pippity-pow-pow. tippity tap. tap tap. This is great unless Baby A is kicking me in the rectum. I had no idea this could happen and it doesn't feel good. Kicked in the butt from the inside. Now that's funny.

Yeah, that and the swelling hands and ankles. That's new. I know a certain someone is reading this and thinking...yeah, you just wait until your nose swells. I think I'll make an attempt to wear those compression stockings, but in Florida...it's a little hard I imagine.

I got an ultrasound last week to thoroughly check the babies' hearts because my sister had a congenital heart condition (tetrology of fallot). They passed. It wasn't supposed to be until next week, but they tried to cancel that appointment and I said, "see me now", and they said, "okay". Sometimes things work. So, I actually got to see some of the boxing match. Essentially, Baby A, if he's not kicking my butt, is thumping Baby B in the back. Baby B seems does not seem to mind too much when he's zoning out using my aorta as a pillow. Baby B likes to thump my ribs quite a bit if he's not kicking Baby A. The Doc said, "oh, he's right up in your ribcage". I thought as much because my stomach seems smaller and I have not been able to gorge myself as much as before. The weight still is piling on though. 29 pounds. 20+ weeks. The babies weigh 12+ ounces each, 1-2 ounces above the average for their gestational age. Moose babies. Baby mooses. Baby moose.

It's 4:30 am.

The urine, it floweth like the falls of Niagra.

19 weeks, pretty much

Why am I sitting in an unlit parked city bus all by myself eating an ice cream sunday (with cookies and cream ice cream, peanut butter sauce, whipped cream and extra oreos on top; a combo I've never even heard of but really want to try) outside of an acting camp featuring one of the actors from Waiting for Guffman? Why do I feel suddenly busted when the driver gets on the bus, turns on the lights and asks me what I'm doing? Because I'm having a pregnancy dream, that's why. None of my dreams since pregnancy are as weighty as the ones I ever before in my life. In fact, it seems that they are ridiculously long epics of absurdity, often featuring ice cream or the pursuit thereof.

I don't know.

Anyway. I had every intention of posting pictures of my ultrasounds. The first ones are of the boys looking like embryonic chickens, or, er, humans, and those are fine and I love them, but I thought I'd wait until we got some cuter ones. Well, we're still waiting. In spite of the number of ultrasounds I've had, there is not one picture suitable for posting. Seriously. There is so little room in the belly with the two of them squashed up and constantly in motion like acrobats that the tech can't get good profile pictures like I imagined having. The photos look like piles of bones and body parts. That's why I have not posted any. Lower baby was briefly in a frank breach (butt down, folded at the waist with straight legs) last time, with his weenie right out there. The ultrasound process is really cool, and the babies are so cute, but my souvenirs are kinda...meh.

I will post a couple of other pictures today though.

I just want to rant a bit about weight gain. I love that I am gaining weight, and I feel this is best for the babies. I'm just shy of 19 weeks and have gained 25 pounds. I feel this is grand. However, I get an odd feeling when I lurk on some of the due date club chat rooms for twins. I see some ladies pregnant with twins who claim to be of normal body mass index apparently proud that they have only gained 8 pounds or 10 pounds by 20+ weeks and how often they work out. It freaks. me. out. I'm not sure what to think about it. I'm not sure what to think about how rapidly I've reached the second trimester weight gain goal. Relieved that I didn't have to battle morning sickness I guess. There is the occasional chat room lady that feels upset about lack of weight gain, and I saw one lady chastising the proud thin, but the dominant theme is "I'm glad I'm not getting too big".

My family has giant moose sized babies (me 10+ pounds, older sister 10+ pounds, niece 10+ pounds anyone!?) and I think that's why I've gained so much. The boys are each weighing greater than 1.5 ounces above average already, which is a good thing if they come early, but I hope their giantness doesn't cause their early arrival. The first of my 2 gestational diabetes tests came back normal. I don't know. Genetics. Whatever.

I've reached a few interesting pregnancy milestones this week. 1) I can no longer pick up dropped objects. I feel sorry for those within a 10 foot radius of me. It may be obvious then that 2) I can no longer wash my feet. Again, apologies to those within 10 feet of me. It may be obvious then that 3) I can no longer trim my toenails. This yucky job falls on Gregg, who did it without a cringe, bless his heart. Putting on my own socks is death defying. Maybe I'll hit the local flea market for one of those older person grabbers. The problem is that I would need one for each room. Oh forget it. I'm going to have to stick with asking for help. Now there's a concept.

Alright, here are two pictures. One is of the baby pants I just finished knitting. They're super cute, and I love them. I'm knitting a second pair and probably a third and fourth pair because I don't think I can get enough of their cuteness. If you were to fold them at the end of the ribbing, they would be a 3 month size, but the ribbing makes them wearable through who knows when. Gregg wants a pair. Maybe for his 79th birthday, because that's when I would complete them. The other is of the belly at 18.5 weeks. Kind of big, but way more to go.

Gender Scan

The gender ratio in my household is decidedly skewed. There's the husband, our artist in residence friend who is also male, 2 male cats, 1 male dog, me and our girl dog. Me and girl dog are out numbered unless you add the 6 chickens in the yard, in which case, the boys are outnumbered. If you only count the warm and fuzzy house animals (dogs, cats, humans), it's just me and girl dog vs. 5 males. Our house is all testosterone, all the time.

In spite of knowing the increased chance of male offspring with IVF, I thought maybe our family would buck that trend. Contribute a female or two for the magenta team.

Mais non. No ma'am. Oh no. My destiny, which I should have guessed since I have nearly always been surrounded by overly much testosterone, is to have two sons. We're having 2 boys.

We went straight to Target and bought all kinds of blue-hued baby stuff on clearance, because now that we know they're boys, it's time to lift the baby shopping embargo.

Everyone, including me, is really excited to just know the genders. I am not disappointed, but I really, really, really thought they were girls, and had gotten used to the idea of girls, and had some really cool girl names picked out and, although I never thought I'd think or say this, girl clothes are just so much more interesting. Maybe at least one of the boys will be fashion forward. I mean, next in my knitting queue is a pair of purple pants.

Gregg is just excited that we are now more likely to build skateboarding or BMX ramps and buy drum kits. Not that we wouldn't have done these things with girls, it's just more likely now. I'm glad that they will get good crafting and gardening exposure. I hope they will be gentle people. I hope at least one has curly hair so that he can wear big crazy curly baby hair.

The ultrasound tech (the same one who dubbed the boys "circus children" because they move so much) said, prior to seeing their boy stuff, "Oh! This one has Angelina Jolie lips!" then after seeing the goods, "make that Mick Jagger!". She's funny and I like her. Gregg thinks she's funny and likes her too.

Two Boys! Oh! My!

17 weeks

Everyone I know already knows about our pregnancy. This week though, a remarkable number of strangers and patients have noticed the belly. The people I know say I'm big, the strangers say I'm small. It's so interesting to interact with the world as a pregnant person. I have not had any strangers grope the belly yet, but I hear this is bound to happen. I have not really been sure of how I will feel about this when it does. I could see myself either letting it go or totally feeling violated. I'll find out in the moment, I suppose.

One interesting thing I hadn't thought about was how to discuss the IVF, or if I even need to, with people commenting on the pregnancy. Because I see one patient after another and the noticing of the belly by so many was so sudden, I had to try out different responses on different people totally on the fly. What I found myself doing was very weird to me, but I'm sure normal. I found myself telling the total truth to some, lying blatantly to others and half-lying to others. So some people know that the twins are the result of intervention, some don't, some think Gregg is really proud of his sperm for knocking me up with not one but two babies, some think I only have one baby in the belly. Half think I'm carrying high, thus we're having girls, the other half think I'm definitely carrying boys because I'm carrying low. Come to think of it, it has been a total onslaught this week of pregnancy conversations and predictions. Certainly not unpleasant, and I'm glad to be here, but I'll let you know in a couple of weeks if I can still stand the constancy of it. Actually, there is one unpleasant aspect of it. Some people insist upon telling me the pregnancy horror stories of their friends and loved ones. I will not recount them here, but I'm like, hellooo! Can you not tell me horrible pregnancy stories right now? Sheesh! One of my colleagues did this to me a couple of times and I complained to her about others doing this to me, and she hasn't done it since, hopefully hint taken.

So, the incredible book I got a couple of weeks ago is When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads, Revised Edition: Proven Guidelines for a Healthy Multiple Pregnancy by Barbara Luke and Tamara Eberlein. I highly recommend it to anyone expecting multiples. It is stellar. I cannot believe what my OB or the midwife have not communicated to me. I need a lot more rest and a lot more calories. My nutritional needs were not even mentioned to me. I do not think that it's because I'm a healthcare provider and they assume I am a well-enough informed patient, although now I am. Now that I'm eating appropriately, which for twins means 3000+ calories a day, my weight gain is on track to meet the 24 pounds by 24 weeks goal which has so much to do with outcomes.

Another book I got is also very very good, Mothering Multiples: Breastfeeding and Caring for Twins or More! (La Leche League International Book) by Karen Kerkhoff Gromada. A trustworthy source of information.

The last book is less academic, more practical, kind of funny, candid about actual frustrations of having twins and at first, I didn't like it. Now I do like it: Juggling Twins: The Best Tips, Tricks, and Strategies from Pregnancy to the Toddler Years by Meghan Regan-Loomis. I have the feeling that a lot of this particular kind of book are out there and I'm not sure I need to buy more of them. They might be too similar. I'm a book getter and there are a couple more I have my eye on, but I might try the library first. There is one book with essays by mothers of twins that I could get into.

I've sort of moved on to the, "oh my god, how are they going to come out" phase. Is it too early for that? I've been looking into Bradley method classes. Some of them take 12 weeks, which indicates to me that it might be time to at least think about birth classes. I know that a c-section could happen, but I don't want to assume anything, so I need preparation.

Actually, one of the things that has stuck with me from my OB nursing course is this: A pregnancy can be divided into three emotional phases summed up in the phrase "I'm having a baby". The first trimester is "I'm having a baby". The second, "I'm having a baby". The third, "I'm having a baby".

I guess I'm on track after all, now that I'm just about midway through the 2nd trimester.