17 weeks

Everyone I know already knows about our pregnancy. This week though, a remarkable number of strangers and patients have noticed the belly. The people I know say I'm big, the strangers say I'm small. It's so interesting to interact with the world as a pregnant person. I have not had any strangers grope the belly yet, but I hear this is bound to happen. I have not really been sure of how I will feel about this when it does. I could see myself either letting it go or totally feeling violated. I'll find out in the moment, I suppose.

One interesting thing I hadn't thought about was how to discuss the IVF, or if I even need to, with people commenting on the pregnancy. Because I see one patient after another and the noticing of the belly by so many was so sudden, I had to try out different responses on different people totally on the fly. What I found myself doing was very weird to me, but I'm sure normal. I found myself telling the total truth to some, lying blatantly to others and half-lying to others. So some people know that the twins are the result of intervention, some don't, some think Gregg is really proud of his sperm for knocking me up with not one but two babies, some think I only have one baby in the belly. Half think I'm carrying high, thus we're having girls, the other half think I'm definitely carrying boys because I'm carrying low. Come to think of it, it has been a total onslaught this week of pregnancy conversations and predictions. Certainly not unpleasant, and I'm glad to be here, but I'll let you know in a couple of weeks if I can still stand the constancy of it. Actually, there is one unpleasant aspect of it. Some people insist upon telling me the pregnancy horror stories of their friends and loved ones. I will not recount them here, but I'm like, hellooo! Can you not tell me horrible pregnancy stories right now? Sheesh! One of my colleagues did this to me a couple of times and I complained to her about others doing this to me, and she hasn't done it since, hopefully hint taken.

So, the incredible book I got a couple of weeks ago is When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads, Revised Edition: Proven Guidelines for a Healthy Multiple Pregnancy by Barbara Luke and Tamara Eberlein. I highly recommend it to anyone expecting multiples. It is stellar. I cannot believe what my OB or the midwife have not communicated to me. I need a lot more rest and a lot more calories. My nutritional needs were not even mentioned to me. I do not think that it's because I'm a healthcare provider and they assume I am a well-enough informed patient, although now I am. Now that I'm eating appropriately, which for twins means 3000+ calories a day, my weight gain is on track to meet the 24 pounds by 24 weeks goal which has so much to do with outcomes.

Another book I got is also very very good, Mothering Multiples: Breastfeeding and Caring for Twins or More! (La Leche League International Book) by Karen Kerkhoff Gromada. A trustworthy source of information.

The last book is less academic, more practical, kind of funny, candid about actual frustrations of having twins and at first, I didn't like it. Now I do like it: Juggling Twins: The Best Tips, Tricks, and Strategies from Pregnancy to the Toddler Years by Meghan Regan-Loomis. I have the feeling that a lot of this particular kind of book are out there and I'm not sure I need to buy more of them. They might be too similar. I'm a book getter and there are a couple more I have my eye on, but I might try the library first. There is one book with essays by mothers of twins that I could get into.

I've sort of moved on to the, "oh my god, how are they going to come out" phase. Is it too early for that? I've been looking into Bradley method classes. Some of them take 12 weeks, which indicates to me that it might be time to at least think about birth classes. I know that a c-section could happen, but I don't want to assume anything, so I need preparation.

Actually, one of the things that has stuck with me from my OB nursing course is this: A pregnancy can be divided into three emotional phases summed up in the phrase "I'm having a baby". The first trimester is "I'm having a baby". The second, "I'm having a baby". The third, "I'm having a baby".

I guess I'm on track after all, now that I'm just about midway through the 2nd trimester.