27 weeks

Ah the harness(es). Yes. I now have 2 belly harnesses. The first one served me well from 17 weeks until now, but it just couldn't hold the 27 week twin belly on its own any longer. The first contraption (made by Loving Comfort) did a really good job of redistributing the weight of the belly from my abdomen to my stronger lower back. I don't think I could have stayed on my feet as long as I have without it. I got the "Prenatal Cradle" harness last week. It uses my shoulders to hold up the belly. When I'm at work, I wear both. It's a semi-freakish scene underneath my clothing, but I really can't go without them. At home, I try to stay off of my feet, but if I have to do something, I wear the over the shoulder belly holder. Speaking of clothing...It's not going well. I cannot really even fit into my maternity clothes. I am now wearing my comfy stretchy pants to work and trying to pass them off as "business casual". No one seems to notice, luckily. I have 8 more full time days left, then it's down to half time.

The sleeping situation is getting rougher. I have not been able to sleep in the same bed with big daddy G for about 4 weeks because we have this really awesome organic cotton and wool futon mattress that, when I gained 40 pounds, felt like hell on my hips and gave me mild bursitis. The guest room has been a godsend for that reason alone, but in the past week, G's been grateful that I'm not in his bed for a few other reasons...(1) the tossing and turning (2) the grunting (3) the 4 nightly trips to the pee pot (4) the 2 nightly trips for water because I'm as thirsty as can be (5) the once nightly trip for half a block of cheese and an apple. Yup, I am up 4-7 times a night. I can fall rapidly back to sleep about 4 out of 7 nights, but the other three I have to read or obsess or something else through the wee hours.

The dropping of things is just ridiculous. When G sees the kitchen after I've been in there, there is just silent resignation. 1/2 a gallon of orange juice on its side in front of the fridge? Guess who?

There is almost no driving. I can barely fit into a restaurant booth. I can't reach my plate comfortably anyway. A feed bag might really be easier. An attendant who could just feed me would be another viable option.

9 weeks to go. I mean, that is the amount of time I hope passes before the boys make their appearance. That would be 36 weeks gestational age. Although 37-38 weeks is optimal, 36 is really good too. 36 weekers go home with their parents in the same time frame that full term babies do, usually. Anytime prior to that could mean NICU time, and I'm not too into that.

We're trying not to buy anything else until the baby shower that work is throwing me next Sunday. I'm really excited about this because my sister is flying out from Cali, and my other sister and parents are coming. It will be the first time that my bio family and my work family will mingle. It will be at our house because of some scheduling snafu with the person who initially offered. We ordered our cakes last night. 2 super cute baby buggies!

Yeah, we're trying not to buy anything...except, through the magic of fiscal relativism, we just "had to" buy a new computer. It hasn't arrived yet. This one is on it's last legs and is more frustrating every day. We just narrowly escaped a $8,000-$18,000 HVAC replacement, so we figured "hey, a new computer is cheaper than that!" Dumb. (The first estimate, by Sears I don't mind revealing because it was so ridiculous, was about 18G. The second and third were for about 8G and the fourth guy actually did his job and fixed the thing for $75 bucks.) The HVAC failure happened during a week of hard freezes in Florida, but we managed. We would not be able to manage through a Summer without AC though. Not with 2 newborns.

Not with 2 newborns who will please not arrive until 36 weeks gestation or later thank you very much.

Spring is springing. I love this time of year here. Love it love it love it!

I've started to cook freezable meals to have on hand for the first 2 weeks of parenthood.

Ultrasound next Thursday.

26ish

"Wow! You're expecting? I didn't know you were expecting! Do you know what your having? Twins boys??!! God bless you, that's gonna be double the trouble!"

I have to participate in the above conversation approximately 47 times every day. This is not an exaggeration. This is troof. I tried so hard not to get bitchy about this, because I am very happy to be in this position. However, I have to admit that it's beginning to wear on my sanity. I am going to analyze this conversation as a way of purging and coping, providing the answers I wish I could give:

a) "I didn't know you were expecting??!!" yeah, amazingly, I didn't call all of my patients to let them know. and by the way, you have not even been in the office in over a year, and also, we're not friends or family, soooo...

b) " Twin boys....double trouble" umm, 3 of your children are using the exam room as a jungle gym while your giving mountain dew to your 10 month old and you clearly have not followed the advice given by Andy Kaufman to use a bar of soap to, ummm, wash your body, and you think I might have some trouble?

okay. purged. grateful. I just never really liked attention.

Usually an attempt is made to expand the conversation to about 15 minutes, which I cannot allow. I have thus far refrained from yelling, "please! please! don't you know I have this conversation 47 times a day and I have 3 other patients waiting for me? PLEASE!!! STFU!"

So I've developed a technique to head it off at the start. It is curt and often causes some confusion...I just walk in the room, or, if I'm in the hall and I see someone with a look in their eye like they are about to accost me with THE CONVERSATION, I just say,

"Yuppregnant!twinboysdueattheendofMaynowedon'tknowtheirnameswhatcanIhelpyouwith"

If I remember to use the technique before 3pm, I bet I could reduce THE CONVERSATION to about 20 times a day. Tolerable.

I would recommend this phrase, with adaptations as desired, to anyone pregnant person dealing with large volumes of people on a daily basis.

Anywho...

I'm getting big. This, for some reason, continues to amaze me and everyone around me. I mean, this is what is supposed to happen. I was at the grocery store today and saw another pregnant lady, and we had a chat...she seemed slightly smaller in the belly than me and I was inwardly shocked to find out that she was 36 weeks pregnant. I'm a bit bigger and only 26 weeks. Yikes and yipes. I went to the OB right after for what big daddy G has dubbed "the meet and greet" (at which they say, "hi, you good? bye!"). I'm measuring 34 weeks. I know, twins...but, ummmm...I'm so big. I'm so big. 183 pounds. This is a 45 pound weight gain. Big.

We get to see the babies again on the 25th.

I wear compression hose, and I love them. They work. I love my harness too, but I had to get another kind that will go over my shoulders, because the under belly thing is not going to do much longer. I got a new bathrobe for the hospital.

Our baby shower is scheduled and things are being bought for us. This is so nice. One set of grandparents bought the stroller and the other the car seats. They have not arrived yet, but I'm beside myself with anticipation. We chose Maxi Cosi car seats, one in orange, one in blue. We did this because these are the University of Florida colors. Since the babies were conceived there, and will be born there, they are real baby gators, and we felt compelled to be campy in this way. I went to our local cloth diaper lady and bought a set of gently used, really cheap all-in-one cloth diapers of varying brands. I'm knitting my hands off.

I can no longer lounge on the couch comfortably. I grunt like the elderly.