14 weeks

Well, just when we thought, "oh wow, this pregnancy is going great!", we hit some bumps in the road.  Before I continue, I want to say that all is well with me and the babes and I didn't want to share our experience this week until I knew that everyone was okay.  Last weekend I woke up with the familiar feeling of fluid leaking from my nether regions.  I turned on the light to find a moderate amount of bright red blood and freaked the eff out.  Gregg's hair turned white.  No it didn't, but he freaked the eff out with me.  I am so happy that I bought the doppler because it reassured us instantly with 2 strong heartbeats.  I wasn't having any cramping which was also reassuring.  I looked at my OB new patient packet for guidance and found none so we went straight to the ER, a lovely recently remodeled facility, where we got a room with a flat screened TV within an hour.  In retrospect, both of us agree that we will try not to go the ER again in this situation.  It was sort of dumb.  While we got an ultrasound and saw our bouncing babies and good heartbeats, the doc knew nothing about ultrasonography for pregnant women.  He did the ultrasound, but didn't look at the placentas, probably because he didn't know how to interpret what he saw.  He checked my HCG level which, duh, was high, but means nothing as a single value.  He did call OB, but they weren't too impressed with the situation so we just went home.  It was a little disappointing given that we have this "high risk" label.  But we know that there is nothing that can be done for us if something goes wrong right now anyway.  The bleeding stopped and I went to see Dr. R on Tuesday who saw on ultrasound that I have a mild "marginal placenta previa" which means that a small edge of one placenta has edged over my cervix.  He also saw a small crop of tiny hemorrhages next to my cervix.  He was incredibly reassuring, saying that neither of these things is worrisome but that if we had intercourse, I would probably bleed.  Both issues are very common and should resolve by themselves in a few weeks.  

Great. Fine.  Wonderful even!

Until Thursday when I began bleeding heavily, once again without cramping or clotting.  I was sent home where, again, I heard two strong heartbeats.  Dr. R said it's a ruptured blood vessel related to the placental issue and I am now on a brief stint of bed rest.  Just 4 days.  The bleeding has slowed waaay down.  Dr. R was like, "no intercourse!!!".  I was like, "you couldn't order me to have intercourse right now or for the rest of this pregnancy", which got a genuine laugh.  I mean, Gregg and I have done a lot of clinging to each other like Hansel and Gretel in the woods, wide eyed and teary, but no, ahem, other stuff.  Do pregnant couples post IVF even have sex? 

This was enough for us, really.  Totally enough panic for one pregnancy.  But of course the universe blessed me this week with other stupid health issues on top of the above.  I have bronchitis or something and I am coughing my head off and my lungs out, which thankfully doesn't seem to lead to gushes of blood.  I also do not have a fever which I would hate but the cough is just hideous.  The babies kick me after I cough, so it's paradoxically reassuring.  

Just when I thought bleeding and coughing were just about all I could take...last night, at midnight, my body decided it was time for some vomiting.  Fabulous.  This does not seem to be related to my cough and I don't feel like a sick, infected person.  No watery poo.  No stomach pain.  No fever.  Not a viral infection.  Totally cheerful, painless vomiting.  We could not figure this out...I am 14 weeks pregnant and have not vomited once before this (which folks seem to find amazing, but is pretty common)...but our only explanation for the vomiting was...get this...that I am pregnant.  

Gregg said, "honey, you can have bleeding OR bronchitis OR vomiting, but not all three at once &%$#".  I'm hoping that the reason all three are at once is that I am super efficient.  Great! 3 problems in one week, that means I won't have any more!  I am hoping and yet dreading that the vomiting is simply pregnancy related.  If it's not, it means I'm ill.  If it is, it might continue, which would suck.  I'm already mourning my "no pregnancy vomiting" glory, and I would hate to have 2nd trimester morning sickness, when I need to gain the most weight.

I think we have coped pretty well this week, considering.  Gregg has been my hero, his love is palpable.  I'm sure many husbands just totally tune out.  Gregg is tuned waaay in, but after witnessing his stress, I can't say I could blame him if he decided to buy that ticket for a 6 month vacation.  I can't help but wonder if we would have been less terrified if our emotional resources weren't already sort of low from the IVF process.  We were really just feeling truly comfortable with the pregnancy.  I was planning to start my official prenatal strength training program (aka yoga) on the Saturday of the ER trip.  

I'm so glad I just have to sit in bed today.  That's my entire job.  Laptop, internet, knitting, sleeping and hopefully not bleeding or vomiting, but likely some nasty coughing.

My inner mantra this week has been, "I think I can, I think I can", like the little engine that could.  Our message to the babies is, "we believe in you".  We believe in you.  

We're all okay here. Promise.