34 weeks

Meh. Grrrr. Ooomph. Gruuunt. That's me turning over in bed. Gregg actually saw me do it for the first time in a while and got this look on his face like he just couldn't believe it. "Can you do this?", he said sweetly as in "can you make it? can you go on?". Can I do this? I asked myself. I'm doing it. It's being done. I just want to make it 2 more weeks. They can stay in longer as desired, but I demand that they stay in at least 2 more weeks because I'm the mother and I say so, and that's all it takes right?

We went to the doc the other day for a how are you visit at which we were given their eviction date. June 7th, scheduled c-section if they are still in and still breech. This date seems so far away. I don't think I'll make it that far. That's 38 weeks and 5 days. While it would be great for them, I just can't imagine getting there. I'm almost praying for 36 weeks and 1 minute. One minute is past 36 weeks, right? Truth be told, I can see that I am one of those women who is going to beg for them to be out not much past 37 weeks. I had no idea I was one of those women and in the past I dared to have scorn. Ha! Dr. R actually said that my comfort level could determine an earlier date. Yippeee! I'm uncomfortable. My appointment was in the afternoon, so Dr. R got to see my back pain and inability to walk normally in full effect. He was like, "wow". I was like, "yeah". It's my sacrum and hips spreading under massive weight and pressure. Sometimes it hurts and sometimes it doesn't. More bed rest.

I'm anemic in spite of my best efforts to overdose on iron. So now I'm taking even more iron. I may have to gag down some liver. I actually like liver pate, just not the organ on the plate.

My dad, esoteric even during non-eventful times, told me he's been watching his dreams for our ancestors, and that I should be too, because they are watching now. He also reminded me that the moment of the birth of a child is the reason for the existence and actions of all previous generations. My dad, the mystic. I fall into a coma about 4 times a day and cannot seem to remember many of my dreams right now. Mostly they have featured old high school friends, which is probably because some of them are expecting right now or are parents of young children. I think my mind is getting ready to join the motherhood club. I cannot describe how much support I've gotten from other mothers in my life. It's been beautiful. I had no idea. I'm so grateful. I'm writing more mother's day cards than usual this year because now I get it.

My rear is numb because I weight too much for this hard chair. 75 pounds. I'm not worried about it, but it's an unexpected physical challenge, and I thought my butt had way more padding than it has turned out to have.

oomph.